Christmas: A Time For Books
There is a tradition in Iceland called Jólabókaflóð (Christmas Book Flood) that makes me want to move to Iceland and do my whole life over again. The tradition is for Christmas Eve with people getting together to exchange books as gifts and then spend the evening reading.
Books can be a way to support us as we move through so many life experiences. The type of book I may pick is often a snapshot of where I am along the journey. I wish I had escaped into books during childhood. But, alas, I was a late bloomer in the reading department. Now, I see the value of stories and writing in a way of leaning into whatever moment I’m in.
Giving books as a gift is an art – they can be for fun, a shared experience, a way of saying to someone you love, “I see you.” If you are looking for a beautiful gift this holiday season, these may be great for…
…those who are grieving
Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief by David Kessler
Elisabeth Kübler Ross is a legend on the topic of death and dying. She wrote a book with that name in 1969; however, it became the manual for grieving, which was unintended.
To ensure grievers had their own voices heard, she and Kessler wrote together. This book, Finding Meaning, is Kessler’s continued work in the field of grief by giving readers a roadmap on how to move forward in the midst of trauma and sorrow.
The book includes his own grief journey, as a grief expert who lost his son. Although his professional work is present, it is his own personal journey that shines in his book.
“This is an inspiring, deeply intelligent must-read for anyone looking to journey away from suffering, through loss, and towards meaning.”
…for healing the inner child
The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: Surviving Through and Recovering from the Five Stages that Accompany the Loss of Love by Susan Anderson
Anderson is a veteran therapist with 30 years of helping people through issues of abandonment. Fear of loss and healing from that loss comes with patterns of suffering and sabotage that have their basis in neuroscience and patterns of behaviour we have adopted to survive.
This book provides a program for abandonment recovery, which means it includes reflective questions and exercises (my favourite things to take reading to a whole new level).
Anderson takes us through the stages of—shattering, withdrawal, internalizing, rage, lifting. She talks about the inner child, who many of us know, and introduces us to the outer child and the wounded child.
This is a new way of understanding ourselves and bringing us through the healing process. This book will “teach you how to manage the inevitable pain, then go on to build a whole new concept of self, increase your capacity for love, and find new love on a deeper and richer level than ever before.”
…someone starting a business
The Entrepreneur Roller Coaster: It’s Your Turn to #JoinTheRide by Darren Hardy
Roller coasters are unexpected, terrifying, thrilling, fast! So are businesses. However, once the roller coaster begins, you cannot get off. You get on knowing that the ride is for a set period of time.
That is NOT the case with a business. You can get off at various points, and there is no endpoint. Where roller coasters are predictable, businesses are not. Hardy finds that businesses fail not for economic unpredictability, as we may think, but for internal factors. Emotional reasons that make people start with enthusiasm only to jump off because of unresolved internal struggles.
“The Entrepreneur Roller Coaster will prepare you for the wild ride of entrepreneurship. It will warn you (of forthcoming fears, doubts, and the self-defeating conditioning of your upbringing), inoculate you (from the naysayers, dream-stealers, and pains of rejection and failure), and guide you (as you build those under-developed skills of independence, self-motivation, and self-accountability) safely past the landmines that blow up and cause the failure of most new businesses.”
…a man in your life on his own journey
Soulful Fellowship: Men, Meaning and Purpose by Roq Gareau, Dave Wali Waugh, and Tenneson Woolf
Although it was a book I bought and read as a therapist who works with men, I really loved this book as a gift for them.
The authors are open and share their own experiences to help guide the reader towards a better understanding of self. After a lifetime of working with men themselves, the authors provide an outline as to why men often develop destructive habits. ~ Excerpt from Foreword.
"Soulful Fellowship untangles the myths of manhood and clears a path from which the souls of men can emerge. Through the courageous telling of their own stories and from the hard-earned wisdom they have gained, authors Gareau and Waugh give us an in-depth understanding of what it takes for men to live truly meaningful and rewarding lives. For men who have been deprived of skillful mentors and wise elders to guide them to their deepest purpose, this beautifully written book is essential reading."
…for those cultivating a growth mindset
Depending on the age, I have two suggestions here!
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck
Such a simple but powerful idea: the power of mindset. After years of research, Dweck comes to the discovery that our mindset influences everything—school, work, relationships, and anything that involves our ability to succeed.
All areas of our life are influenced by how we think about them. And, we think through a lens of either a fixed mindset (the belief that our abilities are limited) or a growth mindset (the belief that abilities and talents develop over time).
This book guides people to expand their understanding of what it means to have a growth mindset which leads them to transform their own lives and then spread it out from there.
A Growth Mindset For Teens: Practical Lessons & Activities To Build Confidence, Problem Solve, Grow Skills, And Become Resilient by Sydney Sheppard
Adolescence is the biggest transitions in our lives, which is why it feels as if the stakes are really high and making a mistake can be catastrophic. That’s a lot of pressure! Although it can come from parents, teachers, friends, and society, the biggest pressure is often internal.
The anxious, non-stop ‘what-if’ voice can be overwhelming and influence everything from school and career to relationships and fitting into the world in a meaningful way. This is a shared struggle amongst many young people today.
However, there are strategies to help shift from a mindset that believes things cannot change, to one that believes things can. A growth mindset focuses on possibility, which I find hopeful.
The book is practical and provides teens and young adults with a 31-day set of challenges to help put them on the track to creating a life of purpose and meaning.
…tweens and teens just trying to fit in
Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverted Kids by Susan Cain
Susan Cain’s TED Talk on her book Quiet is one of the most watched in TED history. (If you have an introverted adult, I strongly encourage that book too!)
Her work has changed how introverts understand themselves in an extroverted world. It is original and insightful, and now, she has expanded on her work by backing it up and bringing it to young people.
This book focuses on the things young people are dealing with every day—school, family life, and friendship. It is personal and practical too (there is a guide for parents/teachers at the end of the book).
“This insightful, accessible, and empowering book, illustrated with amusing comic-style art, will be eye-opening to extroverts and introverts alike.” So, on second thought, this book is good for everyone!
…Favourite for Kids
Of course, this is my favourite book of all time and a GREAT gift for anyone. (The Velveteen Principles: The Guide to Becoming Real by Toni Raiten-D'Antonio is also a great read, if you like the children’s book.)
The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams
The tale of a toy bunny, given as a Christmas gift, who contemplates this notion of ‘real’ and what it means to be a real rabbit. It is a journey through struggle and pain, friendship and wisdom, hope, and a little nursery magic.
I love everything about this book, but my favourite part is when the skin horse tells the rabbit, that you become through the process of being loved.
"Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." Sniff.
…For those seeking to Thrive
Thriving in Chaos: How to Have Hope and Purpose in a World of Constant Change by Michelle Malloy
Thriving in Chaos: How to Have Hope and Purpose in a World of Constant Change addresses the necessity of understanding the self as part of one's healing journey, especially for those who have experienced trauma or grief.
For those who are looking to understand their self in a new, holistic light, Thriving in Chaos offers a compassionate compass to navigate an ever-changing world.
My prayer for you during these holiday months is to take some time for yourself to slow down, make a cup of something warm, and cozy up with a good book. Maybe it’s not an authentic Jólabókaflóð, but it’s a tiny taste of that beautiful tradition.
