Thriving During the Holiday Season
My book Thriving in Chaos could have been divided into three distinct parts:
Understanding yourself and where you are
Deep dive into the tough stuff
How to move forward
As I prepared to write this blog on thriving during the holidays, I realized my advice would have followed the same pattern. So, whether you find the holidays overwhelming or like everything in holiday lights, this is how to thrive this time of year.
Understanding Yourself
What’s been happening for you this year?
Perhaps this is the first holiday season after a significant loss? Maybe your family has expanded. Or you could have had a significant change at work. All these things can influence your experience this holiday season.
Thriving through the holidays starts with understanding what’s happening with you, and making small changes to help.
Does your daily routine get highjacked this time of year? If you find there are a lot more demands on your time, you may economize by skipping your daily self-care. See if you can keep some of that going as much as possible, even if you have to scale back time-wise.
No time for the gym? What about a brisk walk on a sunny day?
Another holiday party? How about 20 minutes of quiet time in your favourite chair with a cup of tea? Even if you are an extrovert and LOVE the celebrations, you will probably need a little bit of time to yourself to recover.
The holidays can be filled with fun memories you can create or talk about. My family loves board games and movie series – Lord of the Rings, Die Hard, Raiders of the Lost Ark. I know many people who have been getting their Hallmark Holiday Movie fix since November.
Whatever the holidays look like for you, know yourself. It will help you generate some energy (downtime) to spend on the things you love.
Deep dive into the tough stuff
What is your history with the holiday season?
We all have traditions we were born into. Those may still fit for you. Perhaps not.
One of the chapters in the book is called, Taking Stock. You may need to spend some quiet time (maybe during Self-Care Sunday) to think about the traditions you love and the ones you may want to put down.
Just because you have always bought for every single person you have ever met in your life, maybe it’s ok to scale back.
Often, holiday traditions are just expected.
If finances or time is tight, it’s OK to suggest something different. What if you picked names and bought one gift rather than many? Or scaled back on who’s on your list this season? Maybe baked goods could become your new gift.
Many of us are expected to host traditional dinners but would secretly rather not. Or some have a tradition of travelling to multiple homes and would rather stay home this year. Maybe some grandparents go overboard and buy gifts for every night of Hanukkah.
Just because it has always been that way does not mean things can’t change. They can.
Spend some time thinking about what you want for yourself and your family. It may mean having difficult conversations. Talking some of those things over with a therapist may be helpful.
The holidays can be a difficult time of year for many people. It’s pretty typical to have a lot of emotions showing up.
Sadness, loneliness, fear—be sure there is space for all of it. It is easy to rush. See if you can find a couple of little pockets of time to just be.
The same goes for memories that were difficult, even traumatic. The season has a way of shining a light on some of the tough stuff that may be unresolved.
It may be time to unload some of the old stuff rather than packing and unpacking it each year. Let healing be a tradition.
Setting Intentions
Disappointments may be part of the change you’d like to make this year.
As long as everyone knows what to expect, it can make the change a little easier. One of my most challenging Christmas memories had to do with a miscommunication with a loved one.
If you’d like to change how you do the holidays this year, do it early. And, as soon as you do something different one time, you have the opportunity to continue doing it like that. It’s a new tradition!
You may want to set some intentions around some of the other life goals that seem to compete with this time of year. That may be in how much you want to eat, what type of food plan you’re following, etc.. It could be how much time you spend at work if you’ve gotten a new job or started a business.
If this is the first Christmas as a new (or expanded) family, it is essential to discuss expectations and how to manage them.
Epilogue
Thriving means you are taking things one day at a time. The holidays come every year. Take some time to reflect and plan. Then, live and experience the moments as they come. If things get overwhelming, breathe.
We can only breathe in the present moment – not the past or the future.
If your thoughts and feelings want to rush in, breathe. Ground yourself in this day – what do you see, hear, smell? Feel your body fill up as you inhale, empty as you exhale. See if you can melt into the peace and calm of your breath.
All the major holidays this time of year seem to focus on a few common themes: light, love, and peace on earth. We could all use some more of those.
I wish you the best the season has to offer.